You know you’re a Mallu when...
- You can run, ride a motorbike, and play football, all while wearing a lungi tied half-mast.
- You have three or more trade unions at your place of work.
- Your name is Wilson, and your wife’s name is Baby, and you name your daughter Wilby.
- You eat beef puttu for breakfast, beef olathu for lunch, and beef curry with “borotta” for dinner!!!
- You use coconut oil instead of refined vegetable oil and can’t figure out why people in your family keep popping off of heart attacks!
- You refer to banana as “benana” or pizza as “pissa”.
- You call the snacks served with your drink “touchings”.
- You have the words “Chinchu Mol + Jinchu Mol” written on the rear window of your car...
- You tend to tie a towel around your head and sing “Kuttanaden Punjayile” after having three glasses of toddy!
- Your idea of haute cuisine is kappa and meen curry!!!!
- You have at least one relative working in the Gulf (pronounced as Gelf) in a MNC with high salary and one relative working in the US in “The health industry” (i.e. Nursing).
- You’re ill and your wife rubs “Bicks” into your nostrils and gives you kurumulaku rasam with chakkara!
- You describe a woman as “charrakku/ commodity”.
More specifically:
- You refer to your husband as kettiyon; ithiyan, pillerude appan. (You’re a Central Travancore Syrian Christian Mallu)
- Most of the houses in your locality are painted fluorescent green/pink/ yellow. (You’re a Malappuram Mallu)
- You and family all dress up in your Sunday best and drive out on a 100 cc Bajaj mobike to have Malabar biriyani at Kayikka’s. (You’re an upwardly mobile Cochin Mallu)
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